


every four years, i think of you

by thinkingaboutyou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27404752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkingaboutyou/pseuds/thinkingaboutyou
Summary: leap year;a year, occurring once every four years, which has 366 days including 29 February as an intercalary day.ormiya atsumu writes a letter in highschool about the first time he falls in love.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Hattori Kosaku
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	every four years, i think of you

_dear kosaku,_

_to be perfectly honest, this is just something i started impulsively. i don't think i will ever hand you this letter either. not when you're happy with aran-kun._

_speaking of, congratulations to your new relationship. i knew you had it in you. you should've seen aran-kun's face when he saw you cheering for him during his serve instead of managing the band, i've never seen him that flustered. keep this between us -- he barely got that serve within bounds. that's how much you affect him._

_that's how much you affect me too._

_i wonder when i even started feeling this way. maybe in my first-year when i met you for the first time? or maybe it's when you turned around to smile at me after my first service ace with a jump floater._

_no, it was much later. too late._

_i started longing for your touches and presence around the time you caught feelings for aran-kun. do you remember? we would sit in my classroom after school on days with no practice, discussing plans to help you attract aran's attention. i remember the exact moment i fell in love, you know? while you were looking down at the paper with scribbles all over, the evening sunset cast sunrays onto your face, framing it so that you looked almost heavensent._

_i should've known then that you were too good to be true._

_after that, i kept my feelings to myself. how could i confess when you haven't even done so? i didn't try to avoid you. there was no point in doing that, anyway. but, sometimes, i find myself wondering if things would've turned out differently had i not caught myself in the heat of the moment, had i not captured those three words and locked them securely in my heart._

_what a coincidence that i fell in love for the first time on a leap year. at least i won't have to dwell on you every year and remember how cowardly i was in high school. if i could keep these feelings in a box and leave it to be opened every four years, i would. but that's not how we humans work, right?_

_you told me once. that you thought of a leap year as a year to do more than you would in a normal year. so if that's the case, i wish this wasn't a leap year. then i would have never fell in love._

_i would've never been heartbroken._

_never cared._

_"we don't need memories."_

_that is our team's slogan. but i can't help but remember everything about you -- every moment we had. how i looked at you after every game to only see your eyes on aran's. after every single game, and every single time it was always aran._

_because it's always been him._

_it's always been him that you wanted to spend time after school with, always him you wanted to tell the cheer team to root for, him that your touches were directed to. his lips that you wanted to press your own against. i was awake, when you did so against my cheek._

_that's why after you two started dating, everything i got from you that i cherished the most, vanished._

_all the affectionate touches you gave to me, each of them linger on my skin. even now they are burning up with the heat of the tears falling from my eyes as i write this letter. the words that i cannot say, and will never say to you for as long as we remain friends, i will write here, where you will never see it._

_hattori kosaku. i love you. i love you too much for me to handle._

_knowing that my words, my face, my whole existence, despite how strong my feelings are, they will only remain a fleeting thought in your mind, while you run around in mine all day. a part of me wants to say it, in a dumb and selfish attempt to leave an imprint in the shape of my tears in your heart._

_but i cannot bring myself to do so._

_im sorry._

_miya atsumu._

_dated: 29st february_

_p.s. i hope that i will have the strength to tell you about this in the next four years. or eight. or twelve._


End file.
